Getting Social for a Longer Life
How Building and Maintaining Good Relationships Improves Longevity
By Jackie Kolgraf
In an age where many people spend more hours looking at a screen rather than at another human being, it’s no surprise that today’s loneliness epidemic is a growing problem impacting our lifespans.
Research continues to find a link between the decline in face-to-face socialization and an increase in mental health problems like anxiety and depression.
Creating and maintaining relationships is vital to our overall health and longevity. Just like food and exercise, our relationships are a key pillar of staying well.
Whether you’re naturally extroverted or introverted, human beings are a social species. “So we tend to function better when we're in a community and being around others," Mayo Clinic psychologist Dr. Craig Sawchuk said on Mayo Clinic Minute.
Studies suggest that when we socialize face-to-face with other people, we reduce our risk of developing dementia and cognitive decline, boost our overall mood, and decrease our stress.
According to the Harvard Health Letter, “Being social protects us against loneliness and isolation, which are associated with chronic disease and premature death.” So making the choice to prioritize and increase your amount of socialization is an active step toward improving your longevity.
The Biology of Socializing
The major reason that socialization aids in a longer, healthier human life boils down to the hormones and organic chemicals inside us.
When we socialize, we naturally lower stress hormones like cortisol (a hormone which can lead to systemic inflammation, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar). We also increase feel-good, mood-boosting neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. Since low levels of dopamine and serotonin have been linked to mental health disorders like depression, increasing these neurotransmitters is crucial to our overall wellbeing.
Socializing and relationship building also helps us think. According to Dr. Andrew Budson, neurologist and Chief of Cognitive and Behavioral Neurology at VA Boston Healthcare System, "Social activities cause us to use our brains more than almost any other activity. All of our senses … vision, hearing, smell … are engaged during social activities. Relationship building and socializing strengthens the connections between brain cells and creates new connections, too."
How Socializing Increases Quality and Length of Life
Having a strong social network increases your quality of life by opening doors to work and volunteer opportunities or new hobbies. Meeting other people and exploring interests together expands your horizons, and, in tough times, can provide a support system.
Creating and maintaining a circle of people you can count on (and who can count on you in return) directly impacts your longevity. A study of nearly 13,000 people over the age of 50 published in the journal Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences found that friendship was associated with a 24% reduced risk of all-cause mortality, as well as a 9% increased likelihood of frequent physical activity and a 17% reduced risk of depression.
The Connection Between Loneliness and Depression
It sounds simple: increase socialization and build relationships to decrease loneliness. But according to a recent Gallup poll, 44 million American adults are experiencing significant loneliness, which increases their likelihood of needing treatment for depression.
Most affected are young adults under the age of 30 and those in households earning less than $24,000 per year. Least affected are adults over the age of 65 and those in households earning $180,000 or more per year. Although these numbers have declined since the COVID-19 pandemic, they still represent 17% of the overall population experiencing loneliness “a lot of the day yesterday.” That’s nearly one in every five people.
The same Gallup poll concluded that “those who experience significant loneliness are much less likely to exhibit high wellbeing,” noting that “33% of those who are lonely currently have or are being treated for depression, nearly triple the level found among nonlonely respondents.”
Expanding their research globally in Blind Spot: The Global Rise of Unhappiness and How Leaders Missed It, Gallup also found that over 300 million people don’t have a single friend, and 20% of people have no friends or family they can count on when needed.
With so much of the population suffering from loneliness, they are missing out on that increase in feel-good neurotransmitters while potentially suffering from elevated stress hormone levels, which negatively impact their health and longevity.
Challenge Yourself to Prioritize Relationship Building And Social Activity
If increasing socialization were easy, the percentage of the global population experiencing loneliness wouldn’t be so high.
The way society is structured today, with fewer opportunities for in-person gatherings and more time spent online, making the commitment to build relationships needs to be taken as seriously as making the commitment to cooking healthy meals or walking 10,000 steps every day.
Thankfully, there are actionable steps you can take to create and maintain friendships.
Five Ways to Grow Your Social Circle
>> Nurture Your Existing Relationships
Whether it’s from shared time in a classroom, at a job, or in a neighborhood, you probably already have numerous pre-established relationships that you can nurture. Revisit people you met in the past or people you pass by every day and see if you can find more common ground between you.
>> Limit Screen Time
Although it can feel easier to communicate with other people through text messages, emails, and social media, it doesn’t necessarily feel better than face-to-face communication.
“Dopamine levels are overall higher when people interact with another human as opposed to a computer,” said Xiaosi Gu, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychiatry, and Neuroscience, at Icahn Mount Sinai; Director of the Center for Computational Psychiatry; and co-senior author of a research paper published in Nature Human Behavior.
However, online interactions are still a great gateway to in-person relationships. So, it shouldn’t be discounted entirely. Use it as a low-stress way to break the ice with potential new friends, find in-person opportunities and events, and keep up with your social circle’s major life moments.
>> Find Common Interests
Your existing hobbies make a great starting point for connecting with other people. Love art? Find a painting class at a local art center. Good at sports? Explore recreation centers for teams to join. Enjoy gardening? See if there’s a community garden near you.
Trying new hobbies is a surefire way to make friends as you learn and explore together.
>> Ask for Introductions
The six degrees of separation theory says you’re no greater than six social connections away from everyone in the world. Although you probably aren’t looking to meet the entire global population, it stands to reason that potential new friendships might only be another friend away. Asking the people already in your life, like family and coworkers, to introduce you to their friends has infinite growth potential.
>> Give What You Want to Get
There’s give and take in every relationship. And that applies to the people in your social circle, too.
A great way to grow a casual acquaintance into a long-term, concrete friendship is simply to be there for the other person. Lend an ear when they need someone to vent to or give them a ride to the airport. Let their dog out if they’re at work late or take them some groceries when they’re sick.
Sometimes inconvenience is the price of community, but it’s a worthwhile investment in your own health and happiness.
Tips for Increasing Longevity in Introverts
With research showing that social people live longer, what does that mean for introverts?
According to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine's Longevity Genes Project, which studied 243 centenarians (people over the age of 100), "most were outgoing, optimistic, and easygoing," said study researcher Nir Barzilai, M.D. Similarly, the Tokyo Centenarian Study published in GeroScience found that conscientiousness, extraversion, and openness were the personality traits most associated with longevity.
But introverts aren’t doomed to a shorter lifespan. If outgoing and extraverted attributes don’t come naturally to you, think of socializing as a muscle that needs conditioning. Picture training for a marathon: An introvert can slowly increase their social levels like a runner would increase their distance. And if 26 miles (or 26 friends) is too much, there are still tangible health benefits to achieving smaller numbers.
Expand Your Social Circle and Your Lifespan
Whether or not being social comes naturally to you, making it a priority is a proven way to increase your longevity by lowering stress hormones, increasing mood-boosting neurotransmitters, improving cognition, and reducing the risk of depression.
And although it may sound like an overwhelming task in today’s busy world to increase your face-to-face interactions, now is the perfect time to meet new people and grow your network.
Start small! Challenge yourself to spend one hour a week with someone in person, whether it’s connecting over a cup of coffee, trying out a new class, or taking a walk together. Once that starts feeling natural, gradually increase your goal to multiple hours a week.
The more you practice building relationships and friendships, the easier it will be.